"Somebody turn the lights on,
Somebody tell me how long,
All this darkness will surround you,
'Cause I'm burning for you,
Burning like a candle."
-The White Tie Affair, Candle (Sick and Tired)
I'm so tired.
It's not just physical exhaustion. It's emotional. Mental. Spiritual.
I'm burning out. I hate burning out.
I seem to go through this quite often. I wonder what I'm doing wrong. But what use is there to wonder? I know what I'm doing wrong... Do I change it? No. Why not? Because despite what I like to lead others to believe, I'm actually an idiot. Yup, I admit it. I'm not the brightest crayon in the 100 pack Crayola box.
Sad right?
I want things that I probably should let alone. Maybe it's the product of reading too many stories with too much love and watching too many romantic comedies.
I'm sorry. I can't help it. I'm feeling just a little bit lonely.
Do you think that it's possible to miss someone you've never met? But one day you know you will meet, if you haven't already, (God willing)?
I miss someone. I keep dreaming about him. I've never met him. I don't know his name. I just know that I love him already and that one day I'm going to marry him.
But I'm growing so impatient.
I crave a kiss. Just a simple kiss.
But kisses aren't simple now, are they? No, they mean so much more to me than other people. And since when has anything ever been mearly simple when it comes to me?
But the desire haunts me. Traps me when I sleep.
And I wake, sad and depressed, because I don't have anyone to talk to about. I don't have anyone to put a strong arm around my shoulder and kiss my head. To hug me and smile, think that I look pretty. I don't have a reason to look pretty. No one important notices anyway.
What's the point?
Where is he?
Where are you? Because I'm waiting. Impatiently, maybe, but I'm waiting...
Sorry for the whining. I'm feeling... weird....
